Money Monster

Come close boys and girls, have a seat around the fire and I will tell you a scary story. 

It is so frightening because it is true. 

Learn this story well and tell it to your children someday. 

We must not ever forget.

This is the terrifying, and factual story about the Money Monster. A gruesome sight to look upon. You have no need to fear him if you learn how to ensure he does not ever return.

Money Monster was created by man. Leaders of big corporations, heads of state, countries, and politicians. They knew if they got money funneled to him to eat, their source of money would be endless. They could skim off him anytime they wanted, and he would never notice because he was so busy eating money! 

He was a gluttonous and disgusting green monster. His creators stomachs turned to look on him, but they loved money too, so they got over the sight quickly. 

He does not live in a trash can like the adorable blue monster that gobbles up “cooook-eees”, he lives in the closets and pockets of greedy men and women. 

Money Monster gobbles up “moan-eeee”!! 

They created him to get them more money!!! 

More, more, more!!! 

“Nom, nom, nom…me need more moan-eee!!” Money Monster gurgles with his mouth full. 

His manners are extremely poor. Disgusting really. 

Money Monster cannot survive without money to eat. When his rations get low, he instructs his creators to start new companies for more money. This is where he runs into a snag, because he needs employees to run his businesses so he can keep his money coming in, but he does not want to share his precious food with them so he pays them as little as possible. 

And he still needs more money. He never has enough MONEY!!! 

“Nom, nom, nom!!”

So, Money Monster grows impatient! 

He sees that he must stock up because he fears running out of money. He broods in his walk in closet devising a plan as to how he can get the most money coming in and keeping his belly full…but he’s hungry, he’s hangry- so he snacks on 100 dollar bills as he contemplates how to keep his cupboard full. 

Created to be an opportunistic monster, Money Monster sees small businesses and mom and pop stores struggling. He throws money at them in exchange for their business and he gobbles them up too…and their money!!!

He does not want to risk losing too much money paying too many employees with the new businesses he gobbled up, so Money Monster starts laying off employees. He does not care about people in need, raising families and such. 

Money Monster needs more “MOAN-EEEEE!”

When he felt he had enough money to be set the rest of his life, Money Monster moved into the high-rise penthouses of the greediest and richest of men!! “They will feed me well! They created me!! Nom, nom, nom!!!” gurgling words with his mouth full, with chunks of chewed wet money spraying with every word through his jagged yellow teeth. He has not the slightest inclination how disgusting he is. Nor would he care anyway…

“More moan-eee!”

Oh no! Money Monster is getting low on money again!! This is ridiculous!! He is a bottomless pit! A growing boy has nothing on Money Monster! 

He paces in his lush high-rise penthouse apartment looking out the window and literally down on the people below. He has nothing but contempt for them. The little people who work everyday to keep him fed. Ruminating on a way to replenish his cupboard with money, cold hard cash. At the same time despising the people he sees on the street below because he must pay them money to get more money. Gritting his teeth, as he devours a handful of 500-dollar bills, he has a “Eureka!” moment.

He calls his creators and throws a temper tantrum, lamenting his hunger and low resources. Any average human on the face of the earth could live comfortably on a fraction of the money in his cupboard…for the rest of their lives! Supporting their family too! 

He explains the plan he devised and instructs his creators to go to Washington, D.C. with some of his money and give it to politicians to line their pockets deep for tax breaks and cuts so he can have more, more, MORE MOAN-EEEE!!!! “NOW!!!!!” he screeches in such a way blood trickles out of the ears of his creator humans. They scramble to leave, catch red-eyes and head to D.C. Scared for their lives!! 

Money Monster does not care if the tax breaks he gets are passed onto the middle class and marginalized creating a huge burden on them, just so he can have more for his belly. He is self-important and entitled to food over “the little people”.

“As long as I have my moan-ee” he repeats over and over pacing back in forth in front of the window in his lavish high-rise cave away from the “commoners”. Reaching into his money bowl and tossing a handful of bills in his mouth as he watches the people below in bread lines that have become a common scene on the street because of the havoc he has wreaked on the economy with his insatiable hunger.

“Nom, nom, nom, nom…be-ealllllllllchhhh!!!!” He really is a repulsive sight to behold.

He lives with a constant fear in the back of his mind of running out of money. 

He does not realize…

Money monster will not ever have enough money. 

On the brink of throwing another temper tantrum, his creators return from their meetings with lawmakers in Washington. Luckily for Money Monster, they came with good news. As it turns out, politicians like money too!!! 

It is a win for Money Monster, his creators, and politicians!!! 

In Money Monsters eyes, all was well. He had literally all the money in the world funneling towards him. He did not stop at just padding the pockets of Washington D.C. politicians. He branched out to other countries and corporations. Gobbling up small businesses all over the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Yes, boys and girls!! It really is a small world in Money Monsters world!! 

He forgot about the little people down on the street.

He quit looking down on them through the window so often disparagingly. His cupboard was full and running over. His belly stayed full and he was happy! Money was the only thing that would ever make him happy. His creators were happy too because they did not have to interact with him as often & they got plenty of money too for their work. As underhanded as it may have been!

He did not realize as he gluttonously devoured his money. The little people that worked to keep him fed learned of his existence & united together to starve him out. The people’s plan was pure and utter brilliance!!! 

Money Monster had been so deep into his cupboards he did not realize what the “commoners” were up too until it was too late, and he was down to his last handful of 20-dollar bills. By that time, his creators, crooked politicians, bankers, and corporation heads, and world leaders had long been held accountable and serving time in prison and making restitution to all the people they ripped off. Everyone now paid their fair share in taxes. 

In a fleeting moment of panic, he used up last bit of energy as he had eaten the last of his “moan-ee”, a tear started to form but it was too late. He slumped over and fell to the floor, breathing his last breath that smelled of old wet money. 

Money Monster was gone, no longer in this world. And no one mourned his passing.

New regulations to prevent his appearance ever again had been enacted and put into place. Politicians were now a thing of the past and instead individuals truly served in office as a legitimate act of public service. 

Here is how the people prevailed and saved themselves from the Money Monster…

They got behind each other in small business ventures and shopped locally- mom and pop stores as much as possible. Until it was finally possible to completely get all their needs met locally! They revolutionized the way they each participated in elections and focused intently on local elections and bringing change locally and repeated that process up to the top, speaking with their dollars during elections, contributing to their preferred candidate for campaign ad and staff funding. When the elections were over, any remaining funds for the campaign were dispersed back to the people instead of the Money Monster. They took to the streets and made their voices heard and visited with elected officials in person pushing for campaign and election process reforms to starve the Money Monster out of existence!!! Dollars no longer won elections!! Dollars now merely funded campaign ads! The voting process was completely revolutionized as well- each person was given a special token at the age of 21 and could vote from the comfort of their homes on the device of their choosing and the candidates with the most votes won. 

With the Money Monster gone and now a fairy tale told to children to help them understand how to interact with the world around them as they grew, there was a major redistribution of wealth. People still worked but they brought more of their money home every payday. It was now easier for the people to do the things they absolutely love for a living!! There was no more Money Monster standing on their backs!!  

People quit getting into debt as much, instead opting to save money to pay for expenses. With the Money Monster gone there was no longer a need for ridiculously high prices. 

Mommas and Daddies taught their children about personally accountability to protect from ever seeing a return of the Money Monster. A teaching that applied to all areas of life, but especially to keep the likes of Money Monster out of theirs! For good!

In fact, the new message of personal accountability was so effective and popular it was taught in schools, churches, religious, and all kinds of institutions…plaques were even designed and hung in public areas with witty slogans.

So widespread and sweeping was the revolution of the people by the people that a new nursery rhyme was birthed out of the movement and can to this day be heard on the playgrounds around the world being sung by boys and girls during recess, skipping rope, playing hopscotch, and hand clapping games: 

“Money Monster, Money Monster

Nom, nom, Nom

Chomping up our money every day that comes

Money Monster, Money Monster 

Nom, nom, nom

Our Mommas and our Daddies 

Starved you to the floor

So, you won’t bother us anymore!”

Lora Baccus September 2020